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Spring 2020

I have not posted for a while, as in January my dear mother died. I am happy to say that her last week was profound as she journeyed towards death, through Alzheimer’s and Vascular Dementia, having had three strokes and at the fine age of 93. The illness had stripped so much of her Self away, but at the end she found a deep peace which took her through the transition consciously, without morphine which arrived the next day.

Since then there has been much to organise, after which there was a period of intense grieving. Now there is just a deep inner peace and a lasting connection to her spirit. I was proud to be part of her leaving, and it was a teaching for me as well as a gift I could give her.

Now we are all looking at the question of fear, death and how to live. This virus is changing the fabric of our lives, and each of us are facing different but similar challenges. There is no right way of facing the pandemic, as to say that fear or panic is pointless is to not allow the human element. As much as some of us are in the position to stay calm and detached, we can’t judge people who have loved ones at severe risk, or who are at risk themselves. All we can do is remain present and attentive. What are we being shown each moment? Can we look at fear one day at a time, or is the nature of fear to project ahead to an endless future of hardship or insecurity? These are huge emotional challenges as we face actual physical hardship in the form of loss of income, stability or livelihood, or even loss of the lives of loved ones.

Are we not being shown how interconnected we all are? Perhaps the worry or anxiety being felt is not individual, but a collective emotion, and so to own it is to get swept up in it, thus disempowering the ability to see clearly. Therefore for each person to stay fully aware – inwardly - of the whole process of living is to use this extraordinary time to live with the paradox of Humanity. We are at once separate and One. Can we feel our emotions, not with attachment but with immense compassion for ourselves and others, while holding awareness of the perfection of the Infinite nature of Reality, the peace beyond the transitory nature of our lives? Perhaps then, freed from the need or even ability to endlessly ‘do’, Humanity can remember how to ‘be’.

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